As Days Go By
by hawkeyeforever
Summary: 'She loses track of time for a bit, with a few days standing out here and there. On Day 32 Buttercup comes back and they cry together. The cat refuses to leave her side for the longest time. She pretends that it doesn't remind her of someone else, instead focusing on the fact that the last remaining tie to her sister is still alive.' Or, how Katniss and Peeta slowly heal.


As Days Go By

A/N: So this idea just recently fell into my head, and I've decided to take the hint from my muse and go with it. It's my first Hunger Games fanfic, and seeing as I couldn't find my copy of Mockingjay, I'm sorry if there are any canon mistakes. On with the story!

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. It all belongs to the brilliant Suzanne Collins.

**.o.**

On Day one she simply sits in an armchair by her fireplace and stares blankly into open space. She loses time by allowing herself to float and to breathe and to not think. She ignores the food that Sae brings her in favor of contemplating the colors of the wall for a while.

**.o.**

On Day two she does much the same, staring at nothing and refusing to eat. She's fairly certain that Haymitch stops by at some point saying something to Sae about a flock of geese he found grazing in the meadow, but she might have just been having another strange dream. At least this one didn't leave her screaming like most of them do. She doesn't touch the food again, and pretends not to see the concern on Sae's face.

**.o.**

On Day three Sae finally cracks and sits in front of her. Sae demands that she eat something, stating that she wasn't going to move an inch until she did so. To pacify the woman who had been caring towards her for her whole life, she chokes down a few painful bites until the nausea threatens to overwhelm her. Sae simply nods and pats her gently on the shoulder before taking her mostly full plate to the kitchen. She spends the rest of the day staring at the fireplace and listening to the sound of Sae cleaning the kitchen.

**.o.**

The days seem to blur after that. Each day is the same as the last, as she chokes down as much as her stomach can handle without really tasting it, and stares at the accumulating pile of unopened letters. She vaguely wonders who they're all from.

**.o.**

She loses track of time for a bit, with a few days standing out here and there. On Day 32 Buttercup comes back and they cry together. The cat refuses to leave her side for the longest time. She pretends that it doesn't remind her of someone else, instead focusing on the fact that the last remaining tie to her sister is still alive.

**.o.**

On Day 53 a train arrives, or so she guesses by the sound of a whistle in the distance, and the new voices that seem to echo here from town. She chooses to not follow Sae's half-hearted advice that she go down there and see who all has come back. However she can't stop herself from wondering if he might be there as well. She reminds herself that he would have no reason to come back. She ignores the twist in her chest at the thought.

**.o.**

It's on Day 67 that things finally begin to change inside her foggy state of mind. He did come back, and she finds him planting primroses in her garden in honor of her sister. Instead of thanking him, she simply nods and goes back inside to take a shower and maybe find something to eat. She idly wonders if he came back for her.

**.o.**

On Day 68 he brings her bread. Well, she doesn't actually see him, but there's a fresh batch of cheese rolls on her kitchen table in place of Sae's usual breakfast, so she knows he was here. She shoves away the slight pain in her chest that follows the acknowledgement that he chose to leave before she came down. She eats every single last roll, basking in the welcoming warmth.

**.o.**

On Day 69, and 70, and 71, and for many days after he continues to leave bread on her table, never staying lone enough for her to catch a glimpse of him. It's never the same type of bread. One day it would be delicious nut-bread, the next it would be sweet glazed bread. She found herself anticipating the discovery each morning when she woke. He never failed to make her hungry the second she lays eyes on it.

**.o.**

On Day 96 she finally decides to confront him. She gets up before dawn breaks and sits at her table, tapping her cracked and chewed up fingernails rhythmically against the smooth wood. He is very surprised to see her, even more surprised when she nods for him to sit down. They eat the bread he brings in silence, just staring at each other. She memorizes every detail of his face, all the new scars and the old ones as well. It's comfortable, to her surprise, and she finds herself enjoying the companionable company. He takes his leave after they finish the rolls he brings, leaving her oddly lonely after he's gone.

**.o.**

The days begin to blur again, but now something has changed. Every morning they would eat bread in silence, avoiding all the things that they really should talk about. She contemplates whether or not to ask him why he came back, but decides that the question might be too much to handle, so instead she takes the peace offering of washing dishes together after each meal.

**.o.**

The days get longer, as do his visits. Sometimes he will stay for hours, and they will just spend it doing mindless chores, both welcoming of the peace from wandering thoughts this provides.

**.o.**

Of course, there are some days he doesn't come by at all. Somehow she knew that these were the bad days. The days when he would wake up and not remember what was real, and what was all in his head. Sometimes he would leave his window open, as she tended to do more often then not, and she would catch flashes of conversations between him and Haymitch. She always closed the window tightly shut after she heard her name.

**.o.**

As much as the days he doesn't come hurt, the nights following those days were always the worst. Those are the nights when her nightmares clutch her in there fiery grasp, and refuse to let go until she can't breathe and her body is drenched in cold sweat. Occasionally she will hear his screams as well through her always opened bedroom window, and she has to force herself to not scream with helplessness. After all he's done for her; she feels it's unfair that he has to suffer from nightmares as well.

**.o.**

It's on Day 136 that he does something about it. He stays in her living room all day, and falls asleep there at night. She sleeps on the chair that she moves until it's only inches away from his still form, and they both are pleased, but not altogether surprised to wake up from a night free of dreams.

**.o.**

The days continue this way until, on Day 162, she takes his hand and leads him to her bed, ignoring his automatic protests. They sleep in each other's arms that night, and stay in bed for hours that morning, choosing to cling to each other instead. They've both missed this.

**.o.**

Little by little they begin to talk about things. It starts out as his comfortable game of Real of Not Real, until it turns in to them recounting all of the good memories they have, her occasionally correcting his thoughts about what happened.

**.o.**

On Day 194 she gets the idea to start a memory book after looking through her old family plant book. It's good for both of them, focusing on one person a day, starting with the least painful to recount, and he draws and she writes and it's comfortable.

**.o.**

On Day 212 she can't put it off anymore, and so she writes very slowly about everything she can recall about her beautiful little sister, from her favorite color, to the story of how she got Lady the goat. It's only when he wraps his arms around her trembling form that she realizes that she's been crying. They cry together for a while, before falling asleep on the couch.

**.o.**

On Day 215 she does Finnick's page, and he produces a picture of little Finnick Junior that he got from Annie, which manages to surprise her. He states that if she would open her mail, she would probably find the same thing. She doesn't, so he doesn't press her. They go back to working on the book.

**.o.**

They both begin to notice that his stuff is showing up more and more at her house, so she bluntly asks him to move in. He tries to argue that it wouldn't be safe in case he has an attack, to which she glares him in to silence and firmly states that she can handle herself, thank you very much. He laughs that day. It's nice to hear.

**.o.**

They are both healing. It's a new feeling for both of them, seeing as it's been a long time since either of them have even resembled being whole, but they're willing to give it a chance because they have each other, and that's more than most people have. They begin to smile more, and to laugh, until it doesn't hurt so much to be in each other's company. It's familiar, and beautiful.

**.o.**

It's on Day 305 that she finally faces the fact that she has always, and will always need him more than she needs air. On Day 305 she wakes up with his lips against hers, and all she can think is finally. On Day 305 he asks her if she loves him, Real of Not Real, with that vulnerable look in his sky blue eyes that remind her of home. On Day 305, she says Real. And it's on Day 305 that they both find there forever. They both think that maybe it's been there all along.

**.o.**

A/N: Review?


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